halloween resolution

i have this problem. everytime i do something social i tell myself. "tonight i'm going to meet new people. im going to have fun and talk alot and be enthusiastic."

but every time, i fill my cup, find a couch and just sit. i wait for someone else to sit down. wait for them to say something and then maybe have a conversation. it's not that i'm not having fun, just not the potential fun that is being presented to me.

how do people go places where they don't know anyone and feel comfortable?

so... i need to branch out, i need to join in on conversations when i have something to add to them, i need to stand up and wander around the party until i find a compatible 'yes' and start a conversation.

i need to not be an outsider.

palisade

this song fits the season i think

one of my favorites

There I was, fourteen spinning
With my arms out like a scarecrow

Walking down Monroe to the park
Dancing up Madison

With my eyes closed your feet
Sounding like a symphony of strings
You picked me up and whispered "Forever"
Like a secret in my ears
Now. . .

- mineral -

wish they would follow the trend of alot of the great mid-western 90's emo bands and get together for a reunion tour.

would love to hear a song about fuckin' shit up

explanation and exploration (a follow-up)

so i've had time to think about, and analyze the things that push my buttons. think i'm on my way to understanding them and coping with them to essentially be a more chill with the world around me.

1. 'athletic' clothing in a 'non-athletic' setting.

think this just bugs be because i really enjoy a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt. when i see people in b-ball shorts in anyplace other than a gym/b-ball court/track/etc. i just see it as lazy and they don't care to represent themselves. but i realize that they most likely see me as a bum who wears strange skinny jeans and will never understand the comfort of being in shorts all day. so i think it's something i can get over, just not something i would choose to do.

2. Nicolis Cage

can't get over this. this guy ruins so many potentially good movies. think of how much better his movies would be if someone other than that ass-hole starred in them. how does this guy still make money?

3. people merging on the high-way not going the speed of traffic

no chance. will always get crazy agro over this.

4. wall-mart

just never going there. problem solved

5. mountain bikes used in an urban setting

having 'rock-shocks', huge-azz tires, and those 'take-off-able ' bull-horn bars doesn't do much on concrete. the sound of those enormous tredz humming on the cement is the worst. not saying that every urban cyclist should go buy an awesome road bike or build a fixie but if you live in a city, mountain bikes are slow and stupid looking. i think the only way i can get over this dislike is by getting the word out until there are no urban-mountain-bikers.

6. celebrities being asses infront of an audience just for attention

people suck as is, and when they get a taste for the 'spot-light' (money) they change. they will do weird, stupid things just to make headlines again. obviously, this doesn't apply all, some are still cool chillable dudes who i could probably hang with. guess i can handle this dislike by not listening to konny west, chrostopher brown, james fox, johnny mayer or by avoiding all movies by bill maher, and mike moore.

ok, hopefully this will improve the quality of my life and allow me to be more accepting and chill. the test will be making this blog work irl. its easy to just write about things but difficult to take it home and apply it to my off-line way of life.

what makes you angry?

would making a list and figuring out why these things make you mad help your ability to be a relaxed individual?

do you like the things i dislike?

list, review, revise, explain (four steps in becoming more chill with my surroundings)

i recently realized how many things tend to push me the wrong way. my number of dislikes seems to be growing. so, in attempt to get to know these dislikes and understand why they upset me, i decided to make a list.

DISLIKES

- 'athletic' clothing in a 'non-athletic' setting (i.e. b-ball shorts at school)

- Nicolis Cage (seems to ruin too many potentially decent movies)

- people not merging onto a highway going the speed of traffic

- Wall-Mart

- Mountain bikes used in the city

- people i don't know asking for cigarettes

- celebraties with an attitude that implies a code morals/ethics/rules does not apply to them (i.e. Kanye West, Jammie Fox, Bill Maher)

- new things that are meant to sound/look/feel old. (with some exceptions)

after sitting on this blog for a few days and reviewing my list i hope to make a follow up post with more reflection. to go over these dislikes and give more reasons why they cause me so much anger and how i can cope with them.

should a costume reflect someone you actually wish you could be?

as halloween is approaching quickly, i have found myself invited to a few parties that are costume mandatory. thinking about the minimal effort i can put into my costume and hopefully not make myself look/feel like an ass. i guess halloween is sort of a reason to act like another person and be something your not for one night out of a year.

should your costume represent something you wish you could be but never will?

as a kid the holiday is all about candy, and walking around a 'safe' neighborhood asking for sweets like a brat.

as a teen, you have to make a decision... is getting dressed up worth getting a shitload of free candy?

in the late teens/early twenties, the holiday changes gears entirely. it's all about getting costumed up and gettin' drunk. (also gives 'yes's' and unfortunately 'no's' a chance to dress as slutty as possible. i.e... pirate hookers, playboy bunnies, and nympho angels)

i never feel like dressing as someone else is much fun. i've worked on my personal brand and would like to keep it for the night. don't mind just being me all the time.

but if it gets me a free keg cup, i'm thinking raoul duke would be a strong choice.

wednesday evenings

recently found a new way to appreciate the mid-week hump. owner of Commute bike shop, located downtown GR, started organizing weekly bike rides every wednesday night. they're a great way to enjoy biking. not too fast or slow.

any type of bike is welcome. fixed gears to mountains.

vegan cookies are made and shared before the ride begins which are always delicious.

the ride ends at Founders where the group has a few beers to end the night.

makes me appreciate that there are still people that like to take a break from the high-tek world of computers, phones, ipods, and blue-teeth and just enjoy something as simple as riding a bike. although the modern world has brought me many things that i think are relevant and i use just about everyday, such as this computer, i wish that the world could go back in time and just slow down. everyone is stressed when they don't need to be. did the people that go agro over 'progress reports' in cubicles as a full time job know that's what they wanted to do for the rest of their life? did they have the option of going to college and choosing a more chill career?

(this is my pill to cure stress)

how do you calm down?

technology; good, bad, or both?

does your job give you headaches/make you depressed?

(...if you're from grand rapids and own a bike i encourage meeting up downtown @ 9 in the lot across from vertigo on division. you won't regret it.)

been tired

feel like i don't have much of a life. school all morning and day. work all evening and night. last night's wednesday night ride was the first social thing i did in too long.

am i becoming a puppet?

with early classes i don't get to sleep much. wish i would have put more things into consideration when i scheduled my classes.

too tired, almost the weekend.

brand new @ the fillmore in detroit 2morrow

good